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mating season profile
28 / male / bisexual / 8♢
Details
Back where I'm from, I was personally mentored by one of the best surgeons in the Kingdom of Rondon, who was a baron no less. Eventually, I also ended up serving as a combat medic for a war that just recently ended. As a result, I can't say I've had a lot of time exploring much in the way of hobbies, but I'll be glad to explore that kind of thing with people here. It's certainly much calmer by comparison.
Difficult to say as we adjust to life in this resort, but right now I'm just interested in getting to know everyone else here and assuring we all have a pleasant time. I assure you, I'd like to see to it you have one.
I used to work as a butler, so I have experiencing in mixing some pretty decent cocktails.
As much as I would love make people here a drink, I'd also enjoy showing how good I am with my hands. And, well, everything else, for the record.
Not much for books honestly; they put me to sleep better than any sedative. But I do like jazz and swing music, mystery films, and I favor beef wellingtons.
I consider myself a flexible man, but I like someone with a quick wit.
Wine.
.02 CLOWNS OR MIMES
Mimes, because at least they don't talk.
.03 SHOWER OR BATH
Bath.
.04 PIRATES OR NINJAS
Pirates, I guess.
.05 TITS OR ASS
Both.
.06 COFFEE OR TEA
Coffee.
.07 SPICY OR SWEET
Spicy. Never really got used to sweets.
.08 SUMMER OR WINTER
Summer.
.09 LEATHER OR LACE
Lace.
10. ROUGH SEX OR GENTLE SEX
Both.
ISFJ-T
forward dated to. idk. anyways action
he’s sat there, head swinging back and forth, muscle memory working hard to ensure he doesn’t fracture his neck. his arms are thrown over his knees, eyelids heavy with exhaustion. the pungent stench of vomit is wafting off of him.
when he sees daan, his head slowly cranes up — drowsily, he peers at him through the slits of his eyes, face pitifully pallid. ]
…Daan…
[ somehow, he slurs even his name. ]
…Had to see you… [ he speaks with the cognizance of a sleepy child. ] …Been waiting all night… didn’t know what to do…
[ the whites of his eyes are raw and reddened from having cried. ]
…Sorry…
time is an illusion
This entire month has been a damned rollercoaster, hasn't it? From Daan's own breakdown after waking up in that suite with Cloud, to their amends, to this. Whatever has happened is bad, no question.
Daan takes in a breath. Yes, he's startled to find this upon his return to his room, but he keeps a level head. He hopes that's better for Cloud, to have someone stable right now even if his chest suddenly bears an anxious weight.]
No apologies necessary.
[Daan crouches down by him, not seemingly put off by the smell.]
Will you let me touch you?
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daan will notice— that he’s quivering, prone to bouts of twitching and the occasional convulsion. this isn’t his suit. no, not remotely. ]
…Were the only person I could go to…
[ he can’t let her— let tifa see him like this. ]
…Sorry… sorry… sorry…
[ a word embedded into his brain, a feeling he can’t shake. the guilt of being alive is eating him whole. ]
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Gently, he brushes his fingers over Cloud's cheek.]
Shh. No more apologizing. I'll help you inside, and we can get a bath going.
[Dear, precious Cloud. He wonders what this resort revealed now that's brought him into this kind of state? It's not as if Daan has room to talk. So, really, he's willing to bear any burden needed of him if that's what Cloud needs.
Daan reaches for his arm to help haul him up to his feet, just enough to get an arm around his shoulders.]
Try to lean on me, if you can. I hardly have half your strength, after all.
[A bit of wry commentary, but his intent is still sincere as he unlocks his suite to bring Cloud inside.]
cw emetophobia
this position. the arm around his shoulder, having to be physically dragged. the memory flashes in his mind again. once they’ve entered his suite, cloud pulls away from daan abruptly, stumbling to the bathroom. he falls to his knees immediately, crawling across the tile, hands gripping the toilet bowl before he begins to wretch—
he’s desensitized to the scent at this point. two hands clutch at his head, grabbing fistfuls of hair, and tears bead at his eyes all over again. ]
Sorry. [ he repeats. ] My fault. My fault. All my fault.
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No harm done, I promise.
Take your time. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.
[This is hardly the worst he's dealt with for a patient. It just aches more because of how much he's come to deeply care for Cloud.]
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he sits there for a long while, unmoving, sniffling and shuddering on his bathroom floor. it should be there— the voice that tells him to get his shit together, the voice that always helps him back up…
but it isn’t. it’s gone, now, nowhere to be found, and he knows why and that makes it all the more painful. pathetically, his eyes flit up to daan. ]
…Can you… can you help me?
[ take his clothes off. get into the bath. stay with him. anything at all, really. ]
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Of course. I'll stay for as long as you need me to.
[This isn't unfamiliar, either in a personal sense or clinical; deft fingers unbuttoning Cloud's shirt, helping to peel it away and set aside for laundering. After helping remove the boots, everything else joins the rest of the laundry.
Daan gently takes Cloud's hands into his own.]
Can you stand a little? Just enough to step into the bath. You don't need to do anything else.
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two hands grasp at daan’s. slowly, he rises, dropping into the bath until the water is lapping at his knees. it’s tepid, pooling around him comfortably, and wraps his arms around himself in silence.
he has to explain— himself, what happened… but the words are trapped within the depths of his mind, as if saying them will finally solidify them as true. ]
…Daan. [ he speaks so softly. ] Are you… real? The time we spent together, the things we did… right now… it’s all real…?
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[The bath continues to fill, and Daan lets it be. Instead, his hand continues to stroke down Cloud's back, tracing over his spine and shoulders. As if that alone could somehow soothe him.
At the question, a tiny smile tugs at his lips. Not because the situation is particularly amusing, but because he does think of most of their interactions as something special. Even when Daan is at his worst.]
I'm here. I'm real. I'd say "unfortunately", but you'd normally give me shit for that. For some reason, you like me.
[Fingers brush back some spikes from Cloud's face.]
But it's all real. The moments we've shared, even when I tried to hurt you. And you forgiving me. All of it has happened. You have my word.
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right. this was real. what they had was real. cloud looks to him— features initially vacant before reanimating, growing more dynamic and human as the seconds pass.
maybe— maybe he can talk now. he sucks in a breath and steels himself. ]
…Zack. His name… was Zack.
[ even now, his chest tightens when he says his name. like this is an anomaly, like he’s not supposed to. how cruel. how horribly unfair. ]
Everything’s… so hazy. But I remember, now… we were on the run…
And they… [ his breath hitches. ] …they killed him.
[ he doesn’t realize it — that he’s crying again. ]
And I forgot him… he died for me… he saved my life… and I forgot him. Because I didn’t know— I didn’t know how to live without him.
[ his hands come up to clutch at his head again. ]
…I… I woke up next to him yesterday. It feels like… a fucking joke. I forgot him… how could I forget him…? Who am I?
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It meant something then. He knew that, but when could there have been a good time to bring it up in the midst of all the other shit that goes on here? He'd intended to follow up of course, it seemed important. But now it makes sense.
Zack. That tall, black-haired man that reminded Daan a bit of Cloud in some ways, like a puzzle piece finally unlocking some of the questions Daan held. The way that Cloud would seem like one person, then another at times. Himself, then not. Whatever had happened, it's unquestionable that this is a point of trauma, that it was enough to rattle Cloud to his core and make him adapt into someone else. Because he had to, for the sake of survival.]
The human mind is very, very good at convincing itself certain things we think are true, so we can protect ourselves. ...I'm not unfamiliar, to a degree.
[The water finally finishes filling, and Daan turns it off. Then, he is gently wiping those tears again.]
I know you must feel an insurmountable guilt, but it isn't your fault, Cloud. You would not have forgotten him if it was your choice.
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He deserved better than that. [ he says, head shaking slowly. ] I wasn't worth it. Never was.
[ he hates having to accept it: that his mind if a fragile thing. that he was weak, in spirit and heart. ]
He was my best friend. ...My only friend. My...
[ he trails off, unable to find the words. his--
maybe, just maybe, they both understand what comes next. ]
And I-- I... [ he draws his knees up, huddling into himself. ] remembered...something. We were-- stuck somewhere... don't know for how long... glass walls... couldn't move or talk-- I... I don't know.
[ suddenly, he falls back into silence, the words escaping him. and after some stretch of time-- ]
Sorry. Didn't-- mean to tell you this, I just... I don't know where to go and I'm-- I'm so scared.
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After Cloud is done, he calmly begins to lather his hands with soap before he begins to work lightly along an arm, if Cloud will let him.]
Let's make two things perfectly clear. [Despite how the words may come off, Daan's tone is nothing but patient and compassionate.] First of all, if you can find worth in me, then I would absolutely say there is worth in you. Even if you're convinced otherwise. And I will remind you time and again if I have to.
[His hands work to continue lathering, to keep aiding Cloud in getting cleaned up.]
Second, you can tell me whatever is on your mind. For all that you listened to me, of course I would return the favor.
I'd be a real piece of shit if I didn't do that much.
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[ suds bubble up on the surface of his skin, and daan’s motions are slow and measured — it distracts him from the pain burrowing itself into his head. ]
I’m…
I’m worried. That I’ll drag you down with me. You’ve… you’ve dealt with so much… I just—
I just want you to be happy.
[ his eyes screw shut. ]
In the end, I—I took everything from him… I don’t know… I don’t know how I can live doing that to anyone else…
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[There's a pause, his hands moving on to a different part of Cloud's body. Eventually, Daan moves himself enough so that he can reach the other's back.]
I don't say it to brush you off. But I do relate to you in that way. It's why... in part that I tried to push you away. I thought I was doing you a favor, not getting dragged down with me. Obviously, it did nothing but made us both miserable when I did that.
I would be happier to be at your side, even if that appears inconceivable right now.
[Daan cups his hands in the water, then lets it trickle down Cloud's back, rinsing away the lather.]
I don't know him well. So I can't speak to his feelings, or his thoughts.
But I'll be fucking livid if you try to pull the same kind of shit with me that I did to you.
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…I get it.
[ he looks down at his feet, braced against the bottom of the bath. ]
But don’t… don’t put me first. If you ever feel like I’m no good, then…
Then go.
[ more honestly— ]
I… I’ve never met anybody like you. I meant that…
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Still, Daan is willing to give all of his patience and then some for Cloud.]
Then right back at you. ...The moment you begin to doubt, I want you think of yourself. Your needs.
[He rests a hand to Cloud's knee.]
Mm. I'll take that as a compliment unless corrected.
...I can't fix this. What happened, and how it impacts you. How it impacts him. But I will be here, Cloud. And I will do everything I can to help. I want to.
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but daan— he’s speaking reasonably. he can’t deny him. his hand settles atop his, curling around it. ]
…Thank you. [ said so earnestly, so softly. ]
…Is it okay? If I stay with you for a few days?
[ his eyes rove off to the side. ]
I… I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret. And there’s— someone else here. Someone from home. I don’t want her to see me like this.
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[With his other hand, he reaches out and gently smooths over the side of Cloud's face.]
Stay as long as you want. I can look after you.
[Someone else... but not Aerith. There aren't a lot of people he's met from wherever Cloud is from, but he can make some connections.]
What is her name... Tifa, is it? Aerith had mentioned her, but I could be mistaken. Either way, you're safe here.
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[ some levity, at least, even if it’s born from embarrassment. and then daan says tifa’s name and— cloud’s gaze darts away instinctively. ]
…Yeah. She— we…
We grew up together. Came from the same village. Were…
The only people who survived what happened that day.
[ his throat tightens. ]
It’s… complicated. But I… don’t know what I’ll do or say if I talk to her right now.
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[It's spoken wryly, but his tone immediately softens when he listens to how Cloud speaks about Tifa. The way Cloud reacts, how he looks away, his uncertainty in how to speak to a childhood friend... it almost makes him wonder if it's more than that.
There's no jealousy in Daan's heart. Truthfully, if there's someone else in Cloud's life, he would rather encourage that. It seems to him that Cloud could use it.]
Understood. If you somehow come up in a conversation, I'll ensure you have your space for now. I don't see it happening, but I like to be prepared.
[With some amusement, he adds:] Though I have one task for you once you're done in the bath, and you're gonna have to brush your teeth.
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[ delivered as a joke, but there’s truth to it — what would he do without him? ]
…Appreciate it. I’m…not really ready for a lot right now.
[ and then daan says that and— cloud scratches at the back of his head. ]
Yeah, yeah, I know, I smell like shit. How else am I supposed to kiss you?
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[Affectionately, he ruffles Cloud's hair. It's a bit of teasing, but there's warmth in the gesture as well.]
Exactly. I have some standards.
When you're finished with your bath, I'll get you a bathrobe you can borrow and a toothbrush. I'll stay here, of course. I won't go anywhere.
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he brushes his teeth carefully, too -- grogginess slows his movements, but he gets to the finish line eventually, clearing out every crack and crevice of his mouth. once he's done, he looks to daan with a kind of boyishness, as if he's begun to grow shy about his own outburst. ]
...Can I kiss you now?
[ he has to ask -- he always did, but who knows, the vomit breath could always linger. ]
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